is so easy, to be normal, ugh, how I wish I knew how to do it. Being married to a man for so long that has the issues he has, has turned me into someone I don't recognize. I'm not even completely sure I feel things the way others do, the way "normals" do. After years of lies, affairs, complete mental breakdown, mental and physical fights, many highs and more lows than I can count, I AM EXHAUSTED! My daily thoughts consist of mapping out plans to escape, and dreading a future that looks the same as my past. My thoughts are twisted around loyalty, self preservation, the endless search for happiness, and most of all being a good mother. All of these things in my world can't be mixed together, like oil and water, I can't have them all. I'm left trying to figure it all out and still look and act "normal" from the outside.
None of this probably makes any sense, but I'm hoping by getting it out of my head and into words, my head will become clearer.
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