Life has been surprisingly quiet in the last few weeks. The husband has been in an awesome mood. I've not seem him like this since before our son was born almost ten years ago. It has been HEAVEN! We're done a lot of family things, done a lot around the house, and just basically enjoyed being together. He's not been on any meds, so I can't figure out what has caused this shift in behavior. Regardless of why or how, I'm SO glad he's been this way.
On the other side, I've not been doing so well with this change. While I'm incredibly happy, I just keep waiting for the "old" him to come back. It seems like I've been holding my breath for weeks and once I let it out, all of these emotions and fears have started to surface. I've had a few panic attacks, have experienced nightmares on a regular basis, and find myself very teary at the silliest of things. I'm no doctor, but my guess is that holding so many things in and constantly being on guard for the better part of the last ten years has left me not knowing how to deal with a calm existence.
I can only hope that his calm mood continues and that after a while my mind will also calm down and we can try to live a "real" happy family life. Oh what a wonderful thought that is, I truly hope it comes true!!
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